Trivia Pursued

Someone once told me you should write about what you know. Unfortunately I don’t know much.

I do however, know plenty of useless trivial information which would be great, if you know, it wasn’t useless or trivial.

My extensive knowledge of television sitcoms, celebrity loves lives and commercial slogans aren’t exactly the kinds of things that get you branded as a high-minded intellectual.

They are however very useful on in Trivial Pursuit, Scene It or a myriad of other board games.

My wide array of trivial knowledge is one of my most impressive skills. If I was forced to point out my two other most noteworthy traits, I’d say my ability to be ridiculously, unnecessarily loud and my cut-throat competitiveness in anything I think I have the ability to win.

This trifecta of skills make me the perfect trivia or board game player. Not to brag or anything, but to put it simply: I am to board games what LeBron James is to basketball. This is not bragging this is simply the truth.

However, like any worthwhile superstar, I realize I have my weak points.

For instance, I don’t know much about sports (that LeBron James reference was gleaned from weeks of being forced to watch SportsCenter at breakfast).

I also don’t know much about history, math, science, classical literature or any other topic that hasn’t been largely covered in entertainment magazines or on E!

So basically my brain is full of useless fluff. Or at least that’s what some people would argue. I however, disagree.

I think pop culture knowledge is perfectly worthwhile. Sure at the surface it may seem shallow, superficial, materialistic, etc.

But there are some important things to be learned from pop culture. Aside from the diplomas and degrees and stuff, I’ve gotten more from my years of movie-obsession than I did from my high school or even college education.

Who needs those stupidly-heavy textbooks on psychology, philosophy etc. when all you really need to know about life you can learn from Forrest Gump or Ferris Bueller.

For years philosophers have been arguing about the meaning of life and trying to come up with neat little analogies to explain it. This was all for naught, because Forrest’s mom nailed it: “Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get.” That in a nutshell is pretty much all you need to know.

If you feel like supplementing the awesome advice of Ms. Gump, you can see the works of Mr. Bueller. At first glance, a kid who pretends to be sick to skip school doesn’t seem like the most obvious person to see for advice. However, though a unconventional guru, Bueller is by all accounts, a brilliant one.

Personally, I live my life under the Ferris theory: “Life, if you don’t stop and look around once and awhile you might miss it.”

If you can find better advice anywhere, I’d be glad to hear it. However, I don’t think you will be lucky enough to do so. Like I said, the movies have it covered. So say what you will about pop culture, but it’s been working for me.

Plus life is just that much sweeter when you win at Trivial Pursuit.