I Feel You Bo: We’re All Dicks Sometimes

I told myself that I wouldn’t do this. I told myself that every angle had been covered, that everything that could or should be said, had already been said. But if I stopped saying things simply because I have nothing new or relevant to say, I would never say anything at all. And well, that’d be awfully boring for me.

So now that I’ve gotten that disclaimer out of the way, let me also point out that I have no special expertise in sports writing or really anything sports-related for that matter.

However, I am an absolute expert in saying things that I probably shouldn’t and accidentally making a giant ass of myself. So, in that respect, I feel I’m more than equipped to tackle (pun most definitely intended) the “Bo Situation”.

For those of you who don’t live in Nebraska and are therefore blissfully able to ignore the constant barrage of Facebook posts about this, let me explain. Bo Pelini (Nebraska’s head football coach– if for some reason you didn’t already know that) said a few disparaging things about Nebraska fans a couple years ago. (These things probably shouldn’t be repeated here since sometimes my grandma reads this.)

Anyway, someone taped this profanity-laced tirade without Bo knowing and now, two years later, this mysterious someone leaked the audio to Deadspin. And, just like that, bam! everyone in Nebraska started freaking out.

I personally, don’t care.

I may be the only person who was born and raised in Nebraska who can really take or leave Nebraska football. I just don’t care about any of it. I only want the Huskers to win so that everyone in the state is in a better mood. Have you ever trained being in Lincoln after a Husker loss? It sucks. Everyone’s so crabby.

As I don’t really consider myself a Huskers fan, I didn’t really care when Bo called out some legit Huskers fans in the leaked audio recording (which, again, people, is two years old.) In that recording Bo complains that fans left the game when Nebraska was basically, well, being crushed by Ohio State.

Nebraska eventually came back to win that game but not before a considerable portion of the fans left the stadium. This, apparently, was a big deal, at least to Bo. And in a moment of post-game-pissed-off-ness he called these runaway fans “fair weather fans.” (He also said some other stuff, but again, “Hi, Grandma.”)

In any event, the severity of this insult is completely lost on me. Because I am most definitely a fair weather fan. Literally, if there is not fair weather, I will not be at that football game. If it’s cold, I’m out. If it’s raining, I’m out. If it’s 100-plus degrees, I’m out. If it’s sunny and 80 degrees, I’m in.

And here is the thing about that day, it wasn’t 80 degrees and sunny. It was raining. It was cold. It was gross. Frankly, I’m amazed people showed up to that game at all. I would have been like, yikes, screw it, I’m staying home.

Maybe Husker fans are so annoyed by Bo’s recently-released (but, in all actuality, really old comments) because they actually cared enough to suffer through the grossness of that game only to be insulted. Maybe. But even considering that, who cares?

So what if a man who isn’t exactly known for his sunny demeanor and family-friendly communication skills let a few swear words and choice insults fly? If you seriously find this insulting or even remotely surprising you must be a much, much better person than I am.

I, for one, say tons of things I regret saying immediately after I say them. and I curse far more often than I should. I mean, record me losing at ping pong or in Super Smash Brothers and I’ll give you an audio recording as disturbing as Bo’s.

This is because, like Bo, sometimes I’m a dick. And unless you’re some kind of super-human nice guy or gal, you’re probably a dick sometimes too.

So give the guy a break, will you? Then, please, for the love of God, stop talking about it.

(I realize me telling you to stop talking about it while I’m simultaneously talking about it is kind of a hypocritical, jerky move. I realize that. I know that. That’s sort of my point. Like Bo, I’m kind of a dick sometimes.)