This One’s For All The Ladies (With Kids and Stuff)

Being a mom is a lot like running a marathon in that I have absolutely no desire to do it myself.

This is mostly because I don’t understand how people have the time, energy and motivation required for the job. I was mostly talking about being a mom there, not running a marathon. Though I’m sure there is a fair amount of exhaustion and nipple chafing associated with both.

Yes, I did just talk about nipple chafing in a Mother’s Day blog. And yes, I know that Mother’s Day blogs are traditionally sappy, sweet and sentimental. But I’m going a different way with this. Just go with me here. I’m sure moms can handle it. They can handle darn near everything.

After all, we’re talking about moms here. They’ve seen some shit — sometimes literally. They change diapers. They mend bruised knees and broken hearts. They make mean chocolate chip cookies. They make you do chores (you know, so you learn to have a work ethic but also because they don’t want to do the dusting). They teach you right from wrong, and, if you’re lucky, annoying from not annoying.

And moms always know what’s going on, even if dads get a bit confused sometimes. (It’s cool, dads, I feel you. I have no idea how moms are doing this stuff either.)

It looks freaking exhausting. They’re getting up early. They’re staying up late. They’re organizing play dates, doctors’ appointments, grocery lists and seemingly everything else in their family’s world.

In short, moms are multi-talented, multi-tasking badasses who never cease to amaze me with their ability to seemingly do everything at once without even complaining that much. (I would complain so much. You have no idea.)

I just don’t know how they do it. Personally, I suspect they’re all sweet-tempered, secret wizards or something. What a bunch of tricky minxes. (Okay, I really just wanted to say minxes there. Sorry if it was weird.)

Anyway…Happy Mother’s Day to all of you mothers out there. Even if I do think you’re all covert wizards or something.

P.S. Happy Mother’s Day, Mom! I love you even more than I love not running marathons. Which, trust me, is a lot.