Do It Because a T.V. Show Told You To

If you’re looking for commentary on the latest, greatest television show featuring hot, rich twenty-somethings whining about how hot and/or rich they are, you can stop reading now.

I’m about to talk about post-menopausal, single gal pal roomies from a 1980’s television show, because those ole gals are way cooler anyway.

By now you probably should have figured out that I’m talking about The Golden Girls.  And if you hadn’t figured that out, I don’t know what’s wrong with you. I’m pretty much always talking about The Golden Girls. (And if for some seriously messed up reason, you don’t know who the Golden Girls are, go Google it. Now. Go ahead and watch a few episodes and get back to me when you’ve been sufficiently enlightened.)

Now, for the rest of us who have been appropriately educated, I’ll continue.

It may seem weird for a twenty-something Nebraskan to be obsessed with a show about senior gals in Miami which premiered a year before she was born.

But that’s the thing about The Golden Girls, it’s timeless. Everything I’ve learned (okay, almost everything) I’ve learned from the golden gals is still relevant today (except for all of those Gary Hart jokes.)

In many ways though, the show was clearly ahead of its time. The golden girls had a bunch of stuff figured out years before the rest of society. In fact, I think they officially settled a bunch of issues politicians are still arguing about today. Heck, Sophia Petrillo solved the marriage equality issue over 20 years ago in that she figured it made sense to allow people who loved each other to get married and be happy. (Because, you know, duh.)

Sophia, Dorothy, Blanche and Rose also taught me a bunch of other useful stuff that still comes in handy today, like this:

  1. All serious conversations should be had at the kitchen table with your best friends.
  2. Do not mess with little, old ladies who carry heavy purses.
  3. People from Minnesota are nice.
  4. If you’re really lucky and you play your cards right, your mom can become your best friend.
  5. Friends fight sometimes, but that’s okay. They can get over it as long as they’re willing to talk it out over some cheesecake.
  6. Older people have sex and that’s totally okay because sex is a perfectly normal and natural thing for people in loving, committed relationships to do, provided of course that they wrap that stuff up. (Condoms, yo. Even the golden gals used ’em.)
  7. If you want to become a classy lady you should invest in some swanky pajamas. (Seriously, they had the best pajamas.)
  8. You shouldn’t ask for your mother’s opinion if you don’t want a truthful answer. Mama’s gonna bring the hard truth.
  9. Your ditsy friend is probably smarter than you give him or her credit for.
  10. If all else fails, just eat more cheesecake.

…and this is why you shouldn’t write a blog when you’re hopped up on Golden Girls reruns and craving cheesecake.

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