Tis the Season to Not Be a Jerk

Disclaimer: at the beginning of this I’m going to sound like a real Grinch. I may even be bordering on Scrooge territory. But if you bear with me I swear I’ll eventually get to a point. (As much as I ever have a point, of course.)

There, you have been sufficiently warned, so as I was saying —

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I’m not a big fan of the holiday season.

I like spending time with my family and friends but I like doing that all year long. (I’d be kind of a jerk if I didn’t actually.)

I like all the Christmas cookies and the overabundance of sweet treats, but I’d gladly indulge in that all year round. (I mean it’d probably be really bad for me but the other day I ate a plate of French fry nachos so it’s not like I’m adhering to some strict nutritional guidelines here. How could I even justify doing that when things like French fry nachos exist?)

I like how cable television stations keep playing Love Actually on repeat. But like all cool people I have that on DVD so I can already do that whenever I want. Which is a lot. I already do that a lot.

So there you have it, it’s not like I hate everything about the holiday season. I like a lot of it. But I really don’t like a lot of it too.

I hate the stress, the busyness, the I-must-buy-this-or-have-that-or-do-this-to-make-the-holiday-perfect mentality that seems to permeate through the month of December like a lingering fart. (Wow, that was a gross comparison, huh? But I think it’s fitting so I’m standing behind it but not downwind of it. Okay, I swear that is the end of the fart jokes.)

I hate that mentality because that’s the kind of thought process that turns people into real jerkwads. When we’re running around trying to do everything and be everything for everyone else it’s easy to get distracted and forget to do the really important things — like not being a jerk.

I think “not being a jerk” should be at the top of everyone’s holiday to-do list because it’s a big deal.

It’s a way bigger deal than whether someone chooses to tell you “Merry Christmas” or “Happy Holidays” for example.

It shouldn’t matter which phrase people choose because either way, they have decided to go out of their way to try to say something nice to you. They’re stopping for just a moment in their hectic, holiday hoopla to say “Hey, you, over there, have a happy or merry time at some point in your immediate future.”

They don’t have to do that. They’re being nice. So try to respond to their kindness with kindness in return. Please don’t argue with them about word choice. Just say thanks, because it’s the nice thing to do.

Because regardless of which holiday we may be celebrating this time of year, I think we could all agree that the world could always use a little more nice.

It could also always use more French fry nachos but that’s a story for another day.

Happy Merry Christmas Holidays, ya’ll!